It's strange how your discontent or happiness affects me. I have a thin current of worry with your name on it
that flows alongside all the other worries
in my underground reservoir. I think,
at least in your case,
the worry revolves around unfulfilled creativity. But,
also,
I have an even larger stream
that flows
whose name is 'faith'. They intertwine
and flow together forever
over the edge of my visible horizon.
One balancing the other.
So love, be good, be happy, drive carefully,
and make me something pretty
from your heart.
love you, M

what is most precious in your life? what sits close to your heart? the warm from the proximity, the ease of the silence the touch, so sweet, but no touch needed. only the distance so small. The colors of close, of warm, of safe, of close your eyes I know how you feel, now rest. You are here you are near. Happy and Healthy New Year To All!! Mardene

Smoke Signals from 5000 feet

life altering changes seem to be the hallmark of this span in a human life.
in my life the alteration comes from my decision to move away from a place where I am isolated, to a place within the beating heart of a big city.
this month, the month of my 63rd birthday, I'm moving to a high rise apartment in Denver. Where I can immerse
myself in the pulsing life at ground level, or climb to the top where I'll have a 360 degree view 5000 feet above sea level and ten stories up.
my goal is to develop an environment where I can write about things, people, places as seen from my own eyes, mind and heart.
soon I will be sending up smoke signals from the inner most ring of Denver.
I'm going with low expectations because I hate to be disappointed, and betrayal of any sort leaves a very bad, vinegary taste in my mouth... no betrayal or disappointment allowed. only new experiences, a full and functioning imagination, and hugs; lots and lots of touching. when I realized that I am never touched, and I never touch anyone, a sense of urgency pushed me to this decision. without the touch of human skin, and human interaction I was wilting like a flower deprived of water and sunlight.
and so, for me, another change in direction.

Tired

I am so tired. My job is kicking my butt. I used to be so strong and powerful. now, not so much.
I have a question: how do you think you would feel if there was NO ONE in your life who called you 'honey', or 'precious', or 'sweetheart' ? .......just something to think about.

Someone let the CAT out of the bag.......

there was one time when I allowed my outrage at mis-treatment to explode with the force that Amy allows....I had, for all intents and purposes lost my mind, and when my precious son walked in the room after spending the day with the 'perp' of this anecdote, a howl issued forth from my mouth the likes of which had never... been heard before, I grabbed the nearest object ( a five pound weight) and threw it at my son. Thank God I am a lousy pitcher, I missed him by 2 feet and the resultant hole in the wall stayed there to remind me to NEVER let that animal out ever again. Good? Bad?? What??

subjective subject

can a person be objective when discussing a subjective subject? if , for more time than you can place numbers to, you only remember being in a dark place.......sticky, moaning, flitting shadows, saturated with the unknown threats that hide in the cracks of silence.

finding happiness is our lifelong goal. but, in fact, this statement reverberates with untruth. each human is endowed with relative free will. what is it that we were created to accomplish. surely there’s a bottom line reason. gone. all are gone. we create them, randomly. then we attempt to direct them. then they grow, then they look around, and see what?
we live to what end? the confusion is so total. the veil is so complete. alone. we are all, in the end, alone.

a slamming door has meaning. a slamming door has no meaning. silence has meaning. we create silence. we create the chaos that invades silence. I am me. and who, I ask, is that? I’m thinking that maybe, with a little energy, with a little time, by the end of time, I may be close to an answer.. never the whole answer. how can we know. but a small answer. my tiny answer. life revolves. I think that without inventors humans would still be dressed in animal skins, and getting their water from ponds. some humans are endowed with abilities to cause change, most are not. tiny circles. most are tiny circles.


flush out the lines. clean. yes. clean. no pain. no breathing problems. no headaches. to understand to feel me. alive. alive. my own life. the part of my life that was given to others is over. free to choose my next move. no consultations. no considerations. experience this life. right

the website

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knNWGXLYrd4