No rest for the eternally distracted...

    What I've discovered at the ripe old age of 65 is that the 'been there done that' mentality has ruled my entire life without me even realizing it.  Example:  I could drop a perfectly good job/behavior/art/husband (not so much), etc, (you get the picture), in favor of  the next new tangent.  
     Interestingly this mindset morphed as I became aware of the brain spasm that occurs just before I switch gears and learn how to change the oil in my car(this is only an example, I would never change the oil in my car). 
    And now comes the stealth response. I kid you not; I haven't changed one bit except now after the spasm occurs, I rationalize it by forgiving myself for dropping what I'm doing to go do something else. And that masks the truth (stealth quality)....the truth being I haven't learned anything in 65 years, I'm still hopping from one foot to the other, but now I'm nicer to myself when I realize that I've done it again.


 No rest for the eternally distracted.

..Petitions of the Heart......The Mountain.

Day turned to night and night to day.  And still he sat upon the mountain.
     "What does he hope to discover?"  thought the angel who sat by his side, unseen by the man.
"Does he know that there are endless endings?"
     "Does he know that he is master of his own fate?"
"Does he think the answer will show itself to him in some sort of magical way?"

The man sighed and the angel relaxed and looked out to the horizon where the man was staring.
   "Dear God," spoke the man.  The angel said Amen and turned to the man to hear what he was going to say to God.
"I am only a man," he paused and cleared his throat.  "I thought that what I was doing was right and so I continued to do it.  And now I am suddenly older and I am no longer sure.  I thought I had all the answers to all the questions.  But now I have questions for which my usual method of finding answers doesn't work.  My patterns are so tightly formed.  I don't know how to get beyond this point.  I am asking for something from you."

The angel nodded his head.  "Good," he thought, "This man really does know the answers; time will help him to see.  Time, faith and truth."

The angel wrapped his wing around the man and the man felt its warmth.  And a gentle thought entered his mind, "Follow your heart.  Wherever it takes you is the right place."

And the sun broke through the clouds and the man left the mountain.

You are a Gift to Me...

sometimes we run faster than impatience, and when we slow

slightly,

it slams into our back, knocks us down, and stands on us... stomping on us

in a dance

with arms raised victorious over our better judgement.

But stand good girl,

but stand, and brush off the now fluttering arms of impatience,

brush them from your face and look....and see....and breathe

....and then smile.

You've learned a trick! why you can teach an old dog new tricks!

Be kind to yourself, yes, be kind to yourself.

The time of super sonic speed, and super woman deeds, and super over inflated emergencies is past.......

and it....

....sits in the dust that you,

you, have created.

face forward, love of my life, yes I love you,

face forward and experience each and every moment,

each and every moment.

A gift, this moment, this life

look inside and see me

tell you, "You are a gift...to me, and I love you."